If you don’t have a lock on your refrigerator door, be careful who sees what is inside. It tells a lot about you.
These insights apply to men who do not have roommates. If you have many roommates, consider getting a personal refrigerator and putting a lock on it. If that’s not possible, the next best thing to do is change out the refrigerator light from a white one to blue-colored one. Blue light makes most food look terrible, especially that juicy red steak you bought. Only you will know it is an illusion. This is self-defense against food-stealing roommates.
For those men who live alone, here is what your refrigerator says about you, by what it contains:
- Empty – You have oikophobia, which is a fear of household items like kitchen appliances. You stay up all night wondering if the light stays on, even with the door closed.
- Dirty socks and spoiled food with horrific smells – Besides what was already in there from ages before, this stuff came from the living room floor. You quickly put things here, just before she arrived, so she won’t think you are a slob. However, you are.
- An untouched six-pack of Lite beer – You are a modest drinker and certainly not an alcoholic. An alcoholic only has 40-ounce empties in the trashcan.
- Turned off and full of hand tools – You are a redneck standing on the front porch.
- Only take-out food containers – Your mom did not teach you how to cook, clean, or do laundry. You expect a girlfriend/wife to do that now. This is why you are still single. Women like men who can cook.
- Neatly organized fresh food with all the food groups properly represented – You may have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and need to see a psychiatrist right away.
We hope you never look at refrigerators the same way again. Now, look in a female’s frig to see what you find.